It’s only been about a week since my appointment with the specialist and I won’t lie I have spent essentially all of my free time watching recovery videos on YouTube. Funny how alone I have felt with my issues over the years but now how the algorithm is feeding me Adenomyosis content which before I didn’t know existed. I have seen so many encouraging video series (I will link to some channels at the bottom). It is such a privilege to be able to see how this experience went for other women.
As an autistic individual I have a lot of worry around the change of routine this will cause for me but then furthermore returning back to my full time schedule. I haven’t heard too much about how long until I am able to return to work but I am hopeful it will be quick because I do work remotely. I have also found myself hyper-focused on this subject. I want to learn everything I can from others’ lived experiences. I feel strongly that this will make it easier to go through. The fear of the unknown can be so intense I just want to have an idea of what this is going to be like.
I have noticed a seemingly widespread shyness about talking about bowel movements or more so the profound issues this condition causes. Pooping is by far the worst part of having this condition for me. I have developed a strong feeling that I may die in my bathroom. I have fainted off of the toilet from the pain. And the day before my period (EVERYTIME) my bowel movement is so painful and so laboring I go into shock and need to ice my body and use a wet cloth to moisten my mouth because I get in such poor condition that I cannot lift my head and my short labored breathing dries my mouth.
I am very hopeful that removing my uterus will give my intestines the room they need. Another thing I noticed is other women find they also seem to “trigger” the symptoms with excitement, good or bad. This has been such a massive hurtle for me. I can’t do anything fun because a little bit of anxiety seems to squeeze my insides. I have been on medication for anxiety for a few years and I hope that I can try getting off of those meds after my recovery.
Then the fear of being rejected hits again. I have had so many bursts of hope shot down in the follow up appointment, but next week is my consultation and then it is official.
YouTube Channels with great recovery stories:
https://www.youtube.com/@ShereeThomas30
https://www.youtube.com/@callieyoutube
https://www.youtube.com/@lovedandlistenedto
https://www.youtube.com/@morrigansmagikalmakings
https://www.youtube.com/@SONNY.UNIQUE
https://www.youtube.com/@ourtimeofthemonth
https://www.youtube.com/@CoolInOlympia
https://www.youtube.com/@Aimee_Esther
https://www.youtube.com/@WELCOMETOMYCURLS
Bailey's Hysterectomy Journey 