It’s been a crazy last few weeks. My grandfather is totally healed now from his surgery, works busy, and I have been dealing with some family as well as perceived work drama on top of my symptoms and getting ready to move. It’s really all lining up at the same time which is a bit of a nightmare. I’ve found in recent months I have been getting overwhelmed a lot easier than previously. But I suppose that comes hand in hand with everything going on. 

I’ve been depressed. I’m struggling to get past it but it can be pretty intense. I have been setting myself up with nearby medical professionals in the area we are moving including councilors and a new therapist/psychiatrist. Hoping things will feel easier for me once we are moved. Then I will have one less thing to worry about and I am super excited so it’s also something I look forward to the most. 

We are hoping to be fully moved in by July 1st, which is going to be the 12th month of my one year estimated wait time for my Hysterectomy. April is the 9th month. The end of the 9th month. I’ve been having a hard time finding time to write this.

Lately my ovulation period has been worse than my actual period, with fatigue but also intense morning to night cramps. I am starting to feel afraid for my ovaries because this has changed so much in the last 6 months . I have been trying to call more frequently but am still unable to get through to the surgeon without getting the busy “try again later” message before it disconnects. I guess my biggest fear is that the surgery is going to be before we move or work while we’re in the process.

I had a C section at 16 and it’s my only reference of how this will be because they intend on doing it open and not vaginally / laparoscopically because of the size. And when I was 16 I could not lift my legs and I really struggled on the stairs. Our new place is a multi level condo with the entrance being ground level but currently we live in an old apartment building. I feel it’ll be easier to heal in our new home for me. 

I am going to try to connect with the surgeon’s office to make sure I’m still on the list. I am so worried that I’ll get lost in the bureaucracy of bookings in my region.