Today is my final work day before my medical leave. I will have to apply for benefits today and I’ll be stepping away for surgery today. I am nervous to be away but I’m much more nervous for my return. I am just trying to not think about it for now. Doesn’t matter now, not until I leave late October. 

I’ve had diarrhea basically on purpose all week from both stress and restorilax. It matters a lot to me to not be constipated for the surgery as I am so very afraid of any kind of complication with my bladder or bowels because of the profound issues I have been having with my bowel for the last few years. 

I can feel it’s real now and I’ll be going in on Tuesday for the big day. They’re going to call me again and for the last time pre surgery to tell me the time the day before. I have already gotten the 1 week call but they didn’t really tell me much or do any prep. I think I may only need to fast for the procedure but that makes me really worried. But she explained me to that some doctors do preliminary testing on the day of and some with days prior. I guess I am getting all that the day of.