The morning was intense and it was chilly and dark when we left the house, the hospital was mostly closed when we arrived, the area we were going to was open and they had set us up pretty quickly with a papery plastic robe and then I had pretty much explosive diareah all morning until they took me to the OR area at about 10 am

The surgery and the drugs were so intense these first paragraphs (if you can call them that) But these notes were the best I could do.

Most pain of my whole life. The people so nice. Had to be there overnight so far one night. I was so incredibly hot and cold and pukey. The gags were excruciating 

Getting up in the night was so beneficial and made me feel so much better. Bad feeling after waking and then odd questions. severely autistic comments form the room supervisor or nurse. 

First roommate was a mean bully of a person who was mocking me and making rude comments the entire time she was there about and to everyone. Like she asked the nurse why I’m puking and when I first got rolled in she actually said out loud of course I have to room with her. So rude. Astonishing  

Torturous Gas pain. But still no farts. 

Got my catheter out and started to pee on my own and walk around the ward.

Night two was so bad I was crying alot. It’s been crazy. I feel weird in my tummy but I’ve gone down in pain tenfold. New roommate was a lot nicer. 

I still had pink on my skin and the bandages and disposable undies, by this time I’ve had so many muscle needles, I’m covered in tape and pink and bruises from needles. 

Anxiety of leaving had made me sick again in hospital, nearly delaying going home. 

 On day 3, we left the hospital start of night 4. 

Home was nice but a bit scarier being away from the machines. 

The ride home was scary but easy with a squishmallow on my lap between the belt

Home night 4, cant really sleep. 

Night 5 at home. So sick sick sick. Called a paramedic. Vital ok. Poops finally. 

Day 5 text to my sister:

I had a really bad night nightmares and intense nausea and gagging makes my insisiom feel like it explodes then I had a nightmare about snakes and we are going to call the ambulance.

A lot of Pooping day six no pain jsut really weird discomfort in incision. 

So much pooping but it’s fine

The cat is a menace poor guy,.

Nervous for night 6. Keep coughing to clear my throat and it’s so very painful

Night was fine but I’ve been extremely moody, bawling all morning about not showering yet and about doulingo. 

Day 6, Text to my step mom:

I showered for the first time today. I can say that it has been getting better day by day. It’s still pretty severe though but I’m able to be off the gross meds now that we’re also making me sick. Took a first peek under the bandage and the incision gotta be 4 inch wide 🫠I’ve been crying for 24 hours I fear also. So I guess in short it isn’t going great but I am healing we’re at 7 days post op now so there’s that. Husband is doing a wonderful job of helping and caring for me here.

This experience has been just so much worse then I was expecting. I feel overwhelmed, over stimulated maybe over tired. 

I will have to reflect on the surgery once I am more recovered.